I Didn't Know Who I Was When I Wasn't Winning

I’m an athlete. I've always been an athlete. I think a part of me will forever be an athlete. I love competing, I love winning, I love doing hard things with people I care about. I love being an athlete. 

But in that, being a high level athlete comes with some incredible highs… but the lows can be just as hard. 

As a competitive person it's natural to look at your opponents, to study them, obsess over them. After all, if you have no one to measure up to, how good do you know you are? But look too long and hard at one person and you'll forget that the focus was supposed to be on you. 

You're supposed to focus on your own journey. 

The path I've taken to become a professional was not an easy one. And it took an immense amount of perseverance, faith and hard work. The fruit of that is mostly positive for me. I was blessed with memories I still can't believe to this day. A final four, 2 state championships, defensive MVPs and playing in the NBA… incredible highs. 

But I've lost myself so many times on this journey. Not understanding who I was when I was faced with loss and setback. I just lost myself at work. It was a crutch almost. As long as I felt like I was achieving something or walking towards it, I felt like I had purpose. 

The only problem is that I placed my identity in something that was fleeting. And once the game was completely taken away from me. I was stuck trying to figure out who I was.  

I didn't know who I was when I wasn't winning. 

When the game was taken from me through injury, I had to find myself and explore myself in other ways. I had to find joy in other things. I had to count it all joy that my resolve was being tested.

In the highs, in the lows, and everything in between, find the joy. It will keep you going when nothing seems right. It will keep you humble when things are great.